As you all know, today is Career Day. We hold this event annually for your benefit so that you can observe real live breathing professionals who have jobs. These individuals are commendable and inspiring to you, regardless of the actual nature of their work. Their work tends to be entrepreneurial, corporate and extractive, but they will mostly discuss how their work is a service to other people. They will emphasize how the work makes them feel as individuals, not the effects it has societally or even locally.
We will not be hosting any minimum wage service workers. Though it is likely our economic structure will push you into this kind of work, we want to stress that this work is not an appropriate aspiration at your age. Please note there is nothing wrong with this kind of work. We will be hosting professionals in “white collar” job, many of whom happen to make around minimum wage. They will not share their salaries with you because it is not appropriate for you to ask. That information is private and it is only their employers’ business.
It’s your job to be respectful and attentive while these professionals are selflessly sacrificing their time to be here. 3-9 minutes have already passed since you first started reading this memo, and you are still not quiet. As a reminder, it is your job to stay quiet and act like ___x___ graders. If you do not know what ___x___ graders are supposed to act like, refer to our classroom rules, which are posted in different variations on the northeast, northwest, east, south and southeast facing walls of this room. If you can’t see the classroom rules, please note that ___x___ graders act quietly, respectfully, attentively, inquisitively, compassionately, and quietly. This has never changed. You should not be acting like ____x-1____ graders. You don’t see the professionals coming in here and not doing their job, do you? So you must do your job now. Obviously, you will not be paid anything, you’re just kids.
If anyone wants to be a teacher when they grow up please see me for a separate worksheet describing what we do for a living. Afterward, you will be assessed through standardized metrics on how well you understood it.
As a reminder, these professionals sacrificed their time to be with you today. You must behave. If you are seen exhibiting behaviors you will be docked ____ points and downgraded in your bimonthly status report. After the presentations you will be assessed on how well you understood the significance of Career Day. In preparation for that assessment I will be monitoring how diligently you are paying attention, and assessing you quantitatively for it. Luckily, you will be abnormally attentive and respectful during the Career presentations, because you sense that the professionals exist in a different world than that of our everyday school toil. Theirs is a world you are inherently not ready for currently but that you must prepare for every moment in this classroom until you are ready. The preparatory materials we give you have nothing to do with how that world feels, sounds or looks, nor how historically it came to be, but we will test you on those materials nevertheless. Don’t ask why.
Welcome to Career Day.